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    Friday, 10 August 2018

    Selukwe’s Mr Meat impregnates friend’s wife



    Sorry guys for those vane mablanket aya akati ooo anofema I mean akati kure vaivhaira muwinter now its summer time and HOTH is enjoying his time kuGumtree because kafresh air karikuti feeee, imwi muchidikitira. Machira awa muchamaisepi ini angu ndorongedza mumuti koimwi. Pindurai musandidzvokora!
    Selukwe, Shurugwi, MaShurugwi or for allbody to understand, the scenic town of  the late Ian Smith is never short of surprises from moral decadence to gold panning all packed in one.
    In Shurugwi there is a place called Bhonza which is about 3km from the town centre where it all happens, bambazonke, gumba wakumba. Chigumba Bus Service.
    There is this other married man who goes by the name Gogo, Goko or Gokwe with the first name which talks about happiness yes I mean kungoFara Fara mese mese farai henyu as muchazviona.
    The wife or former wife's name has something to do with being faithful but surprisingly she is not that Faithful as she went out with the friend of her husband.
    The friend is none other than the popular Mr Meat ehe in Shona meat is called Nyama even in South Africa those diasporians who stay in St Loius know that it is called Nyama.
    The story goes like this, Gokwe Fatso, Faithful's husband killed a somebody in the area and was fined 12 beasts, vakangoti tinoda dzinotsika dzinoindirana navadzidzwa vaJesu weNazareth. If you thought HOTH is not well versed with the Holy Bible makaura, ndorizivisa kunge kuseri kwaKoni, ask my bosses.
    After being released on bail Fatso decided to engage Mr Meat as a go between to settle the issue of 12 beasts. Meanwhile, he was no longer sleeping kushop as he was afraid of the deceased's relatives.
    Saka babanhiya taisiya mukadzi woga kushop, Mr Meat vakati maisvokwadzo nyemba kutsva dzarungwa. He did not take time he was enjoying the forbidden fruit with Faithful and in no time Fatso got the wind of the matter.
    Mashurugwi anofambisa mashoko kunge maruva akabloomer, scenic Shurugwi.
    He did not act fast as he wanted kuzvionera pamhunho sefodya yebute. In no time, as you know shiri inemuririro wayo hairegeri, he caught them red handed, kuti dzvii pamwena.
    What sold them out was the funny noise that was coming from the shop. Fatso akatofunga kuti as mava nana Tula Bhechiludha mushop because the noise was …something else, if it was not a family paper HOTH would have explicitly explained it, after all we want to preserve the little that is left of our morals.
    Fatso did not waste time as he quickly told his wife to pack her mukwende and follow her lover Mr Nyama wherever he would be as she was no longer welcome at his matrimonial home.
    He regretted the murder because, this brought all this misery and shame to his family, murombo haarovi chineguvo, zviya zvokuti gomba harina mwana hazvishandi kumashurugwi.
    Mai bhoi vakaita chipatapata kurongedza kamukwende, what spared her is the fact that a possible conviction was hanging over Fatso otherwise dei tichitaura zvimwe namai vangu Chihera kudai.
    Faithful akanzi enda nekanhumbu kako kuna Mr Meat as Fatso was no longer sure kuti ndiye here muridzi wezvinhu zvaiva mudumbu.
    As we speak HOTH understands the two lovebirds are now living as husband and wife but kumba kwa Mr Meat hakuchagarike nekuti kunevokovo varikudya gaka.
    Nhaka munochivona, let's wait for the baby to come out tigovonerera, may be haasi wa Mr Meat because who knows the number of trespassers are quite many after having been sleeping alone for that long, aaah.
    But Mr Meat pane kuita gwevedzi pakati pevanhu varikunetsana mava kuita gwevedzi … you should be ashamed of yourself mhani!
    Jerera Soja Part II
    You thought HOTH does not do follow ups, mairasa. Jerera once again takes the trophy for a repeat.
    You this soldier akatorerwa mukadzi nadriver wekombi, but what is it with kombi drivers the other time it was in Shurugwi, a woman begging for it from kombi driver.
    This soldier who goes by the name Petso aneNdoro chena, madyira pazhe, chipazha mongo wegonera chitova nedzevamwe decided to do a revenge on this maid.
    But soja soja usadaro kutsivira pamwana here mubedroom ma maiguru vako fo that matter. Yes he was caught in the act by mai Asingatidi iye Achitida after she had gone back to get her charger which she had forgotten, as you these smart phones hadzitanne kupera moto.
    The maiguru did not waste time but called the wife pronto and masolja received quite a good hiding. Nhasi zvangu namaduve, chimamam mabhanzi ganda ravasikana.
    Next time endai kuLodge.

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