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    Monday, 4 June 2018

    Chivhu’s Mai Michi clears Supermarket guard’s salary

    Heloo heloo my friend dzikamawo wakura, hauna mari muhomwe, so goes the lyrics from one of superstar Oliver 'Samanyanga' Mutukudzi's songs 'Pss Pss Hallo' from the 80s which became a hit as fans thought it was targeted at Thomas 'Mukanya' Mapfumo.
    Indeed if you have no money please don't indulge in activities that will end up emptying your pockets because vana Marwei havatambisi, vanokupukuta kusvika wati eke.
    It has been a long time since HOTH has been to Chivhumudhara the Kingdom of Enkeldoorn, to be precise I was there last year.
    Besides trying to preserve the little that is left of our morals HOTH is a fountain of History, most did not know the spelling and colonial name of Chivhu, garai pasi tikuudzei isu. The Kingdom of Enkeldoorn.
    Anyway enough of history, there is this security personnel or night watchman at this supermarket in the CBD of Chivhumudhara, pakati kati chaipo ipo petawindi, dhorobheni, iyi shop yekunonganonga wozobhadhara pagonhi I mean pick and pick then pay at the tills which are manned by the fairer sex, tuma yellow bone.
    His name is similar to one of the gospel singers who won the Bikita primary elections to represent the ruling party at the forthcoming harmonised elections and his surname is Mazanyanya or something like that, Hwava.
    But this time pamakabata Cde muchatsva because mukadzi wemunhu hatogwi.
    Iri idziva rine ngwena baba.
    Hwava is harvesting Mai Michi who is married to a convict who is doing time for armed robbery and they are madly in love, zvokudonhedza makozho mumba.
    HOTH heard about the affair while on his way to observe the primary elections as the only accredited observer for the just ended elections.
    As I was passing by I saw Mai Michi vachidhla vukwenzi kuvava, kudhla gaka accusing Hwava's wife of disrespecting her as she goes around accusing her of clearing her husband's account soon after getting paid.
    Mai Hwava's crime was to ask for what legally belongs to her, pay yemurume wake.
    Mai Hwava arrived a day after pay day but was told by Hwava kuti haisati yaita but Mai vavana vakati I can wait until pay day but eventually the truth came out because under pressure he disclosed that Mai Michi had cleared the bank account.
    Mai Hwava went around looking for this woman who used to work for Mai Kiku as a shop assistant but she managed to steal enough to start her own shop.
    She opened her shop with stolen money and money from Hwava's salary which she was taking every month without shame. The shop is located at Sekuru's complex pane Variety of them.
    As HOTH was approaching the frothing woman she started revealing her behind much to the amusement of onlookers.
    "Look at me do you think Elia would leave me, I know how to handle men and we snatch men who are not well looked after. That woman does not know how to treat a man saka hais mhosva yedu isu tootora mosara makati vavava, akaramba achidero ndomutora zvachose for good," bragged Mai Michi.
    While these two lovebirds are having quality time, they should remember kuti time is moving.
    Nguva nguva dziri kunguvaira and our jailbird will be out very soon if what HOTH heard is anything to go by he will be out before year end.
    I feel pity for Hwava Elia because the man is dangerous, nekuti igororo iroro, moto tama mudhorobha muri vavaviri otherwise munochekwa chekwa nebhinya rabuda mutirongo.

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