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    Sunday, 28 January 2018

    Zeza electrician double crosses Majange vegetable vendors


    Hell hath no fury like a vegetable vendor whose boyfriend or man friend has been snatched by another vegetable vendor.
    Welcome to Majange or simply Junction one of the oldest and most popular drinking spots in the Ancient City where this electrician of ours takes his wise waters from, kwaana Mhofu yomukono uko ndokwaanomwira.
    There is this electrician whose name has something to do with happiness and works for our national supplier of power- chezve more fire lets call him Fatso or Happy in English whichever you chose as suitable.
    Fatso is going out with this stout woman, dark and bright in complexion (you know what I mean ava vekutsvuka kumeso muiri urimutema or simply one nation two colours) with a good behind and her name has something to do with Makomborero akawanda or Blessings which are more.
    And the other vendor goes by the name Stabele or something like that but it is Blessings who is always boasting about her relationship with electricity man who drives this jalopy with registration number 4646 UBA, it was in the night so HOTH did not get the numbers correctly. It is silver in colour and looks like a Nissan Sunny, dzakamboita mukurumbira.
    Fatso's two vendors are from Majange vegetable stalls ipapo paJunction and the other one boasts of juju from Mai eeehee ava vechikuru mhanhi vane chimusika chavo ipapo futi, ava vanogara kumusoro uko kudhuze nekwa Mai Uyoyo (may her dear soul rest in eternal peace).
    It is the Dawn of a new era kwaMajange nemishonga or love portions as Blessings calls them. NdichaDhonorwa zvangu.
    She is on top of the situation at the moment despite having been a thigh vendor before, she has decided to settle for Fatso and now she is lying kuti she is carrying Fatso's seed in order to get more attention.
    I hope Fatso reads one of the stories written by my bosses last week about the two men from Gweru who were paying maintenance for one child but apparently neither is the father, so be warned Fatso. Chando chinouraya but these guys vakapindwa naJune muna January.
    But Fatso is not stopping at the vegetable stalls only, he has spread his tentacles to include women from Sisk Shops and Pangolin, ko hanty anenge achigadzira magetsi mudzimba nemumashops hake, ekakaka haagadzire magetsi chete even human needs he provides. Full package.
    Be careful na Moreb as she boasts kuti akatomwaya hembe dzako mushonga and very soon you will be deserting your wife for her. Ivo mai ava vari munhamo chaiyo, ndokugarira vana vangu chaiko uku.
    Ndobva tadii paya.
    Tosangana kuStoppen macdes.    Till next week makuhwa ngaatsve!
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