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    Thursday, 20 July 2017

    Council chair caught pants down with Postman’s wife



    SITTING in the same corner during church services obviously doesn't give you a licence to be so close together anywhere else; moreso in secluded places kkkkk bedrooms of course!
    Ehezve I know that you are both in the church choir and one sings lead while the other beats the drum.....kkkkk kurova ngoma muchurch baba!
    Ehezve I am talking of this Anglo Saxon church in Enkeldoorn kkk Angirekeni. Ehezve this is where these two people go! Havasiyani muchurch, mukadzi achivamba humbo kunge unochema, murume achiirakasha ngoma; Wegona Chitova!
    But you cannot cheat people forever and worse you can't hide it for good from Hoth. Ko ndokubasa ka!
    Haikona kumanya seweti yomutara! Easy wava munhu mukuru iwe councillor, bhora pasi! Haikona kungwara-ngwara kunge munhu ari kuchera nyoka. That woman is married mhani!
    So there is this councillor; oh yes chairman of a very small local authority but still vanongova chairman handiti? Yes he is! I mean this former school head, notorious for his flirtation with those of the fairer sex! Haabudi mumarogwe. Anogara arimo! Babangu gumbo.
    Ehezve am talking of this Chivhumudhara Rural Council. By the way this Council has two chairpersons, and the other one is the one! Nhaka zvangu.
    But hamudaro Musaigwa? Hamuoni here kuti makore aenda. Yes the man is on the sunset side of life but he remains active, very active; sexually of course!
    He is the councillor of the urban side of Chivhumudhara, chamakuvangu we Enkeldoorn and he was dying to hold this woman who attends the Anglican Church in the same town. In order to get close to her akabva aita Munyati kkkkk oh yes ane Munyati muchinda wacho! So he joined the choir where this woman....is already member!
    Musaigwa; ehezve ndivo Save zve! Vana Save needs no introduction when it comes to these issues. Musaigwa then offered to beat the drum in the choir and anorova ngoma kusvika yaita mhoni! Yes Musaigwa beats the African drum until it develops blisters. Ngoma kuita madubwani baba!
    But don't forget that the drum is skilfully beaten. Inororwa zvine Munyati. Munyati baba! kwaaa
    And in the choir, he sits just next to .......... Ende ndiko kwazvakatangira. Yes its true, that's where it all begun and now Musaigwa will pay 8 beasts for his insatiable lust. Ehezve sere dzinotsika dziri kuenda!
    So he flirted with .......and by the way the woman's hubby is a former postman who now stays out of town. Kkkkk muchisiya vakadzi vega chando chino! Munowana vachinjikwa naChairman. Oh yes chairman ndiMachinjike! Chasura!
    By the way this woman, ndimai vemusangano futika! Pamberi mberi kkkkk! She is a vendor at the market!
    One day last week one of Musaigwa's many girlfriends got offended that the chairman was spending too much time with one woman. Aaa bodozve mugoti kuchurch muri mose, kumba manheru mesezve, ko isu ngoma yorohwa nguvai? Varozvi vakapera nenda!
    Surely how can you monopolise a public commodity? Chairman ndewe munhu wese, kwaaa!
    So she phoned the former postman and told him about the goings-on in his bedroom. Ehezve, kkkk chatsva kuno. Like the Postman he is, he literally flew through the night from a place where he runs a small plot. Minda yakati kuuya iyi!
    He got there at 11pm kkkk! Hove huru dzinodyira kana kwavira! He found the chairman's mazda ....parked by the bedroom window. Mhombwe kutofitwa zvayo nokuita baba vepamba! Varozvi vakapera nenda.
    He peeped through a small gap between the curtains! Chati bwege! It was a bad dream. The postman was sweating from walking all the way from the plot. His wife kkkkk and the chairman were sweating, sweating too!  Baba angu gudo. They were in the choir beating the drum until it developed blisters! With one swop, the postman smashed the window!
    And by the way this is the chairman! He is a skilled chairman, vane Munyati, he knelt down and with tears streaming down his cheeks, he vowed to pay eight beasts the next day. Yes, sere dzinotsika.
    Nyaya ngaipere munin'ina. Gaigumire pano, mombe dzako sere dziriko uko! Pwati. Ungati kudii!
    Asi chairman!! Mune Munyati, muri Machinjike chaivo! Pwaati!
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