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    Sunday, 23 April 2017

    Umvuma inspector caught pants down at dumpsite

    When you are a council inspector, there are limitations to your contract. It's not an open cheque. Surely if you are a building inspector you can't then go around inspecting all the housewives you find in those homes!
    Ufambire chimwe saDriver weAmbulance.
    Vamwe ndivanamai veruwadzano hedu! They have life-time contracts with their spouses. You are not allowed to inspect whatever they have even zvavo vachinzi Mai Havi or in English Mai Desire.
    That Desire is not for you.
    But nemivo Baba Havi, how can you call your child Desire and then the mother Mai Desire! When we hear Mai Desire we think it's a call up for us to quench it kkkkkkk.
    So this council inspector at Umvuma, went to inspect a building under construction. He met a housewife whose hubby was at work. In two minutes the building was inspected and approved. Everything 100% correct kkkk.
    Then he drove the housewife to a dumpsite and got on a second level of inspection. Baba angu Diro! He inspected Mai Havi for 30 minutes until Good Samaritans alerted Baba Havi, wanike wegona Chitova.
    Hoth doesn't care whether you have the hands of boxer Chisora Mr Inspector or you recently received a motorbike from First Lady Number 2 kkkk Mudhara Achauya; Hoth still tells you to keep off that woman and many other married women you have been calling upon to count the stars of the skies.
    By the way I hear you have already paid $6 000 to the hubby for your sins! Apa hausati wabhadhara fees yevana Kwaaaa!
    And I wish to thank you hangu Baba Desire for not fighting when you found your spouse in a somersault position! Ndinotenda hangu nokuhwisisa kwenyu, zviwira vanhu! Hatidi vanhu vanongoita Mugwira zvisina basa. Sarai zvenyu murugare. Regai ndimbosvika paMasvingo apa, ndanzwa parikuitika mabiribobi, zvisakaonekwa pasi pano. Baba nguDziva!! Nyika yaenda kumawere zvomene.

    Six Masvingo men paying maintenance for one child
    Tiise maoko, tisvikewo pano!
    Hee hee varume vakangwara, hee varume vanonyepa, hee usatamba nevarume; heya! Wait until you hear this! Six men are paying homage to one mother- in- law. This six-pack is maintaining one child. Baba angu Jeta!
    Yes it's true, it's happening pano paseri apa paRujeko, kana kuti Jack City. Where else, in the Ancient City of course!
    And this six-pack used to stay in the same hood. Oh yes mudhuze-mudhuze imomo. Yet they don't know that this one goal is being attributed to six legs Kkkkkkk! Nhaka Chasura!
    Where did you ever find one goal being attributed to Messi, Neymar and Suarez?  Chibodzwa ndechemunhu mumwe. Period!  It's either Messi scored or Suarez. No matter the dribbling by the other 10 players, one George Shaya scores. Ko inhema here nhai vaChihera Kwaaa?
    Go for paternity tests guys! The child may not even belong to anyone of you!
    Some of you think Hoth is lying. Kutanga riini Hoth achinyepa? Oh yes go to Mambo Street at number 87500 Rujeko B of course Kkkkkkk and look very carefully. There is this grandma; eeh makadiiko Shiri, Manyoni, Hungwe Chasura; chatii bhuu?
    Kkkkk mutupo waMbuya Mahofa ka uyu. Kufana Governor kunge kurima!
    This is the mother-in-law of one grandchild and six sons-in-law.
    There is this 70-year-old pensioner now based in Mutare. Oh yes chimubwidi ichi kkkk he bought a fridge and chips fryer for the mother-in-law, ehezve Manyoni of course. He also paid all the bills for pregnancy scan and ofcourse the baby and mother are on medical aid. How are you Naspazi Josefa? Kwete Josefa weRomazve but this former Ministry of Industry employee. He now stays in Mutare. Vanonzi baba Mudyiwa!
    But usadaro MoreLibido! Yaa that's the girl in goals. She is a maDube of-course. By the way Hoth has not said her surname is Dube. Mwakadiiko manjenjenje?
    At the birth of the child MoreLibido crossed the border and told Lexusus that the baby boy was his! Handi kupururudza ikoko. Lexusses went shopping all over Joburg for the baby boy and Manyioni  of course. The child has prefix Lex in his first name. Kuri sei hako Joza Chirandu?
    Kufana mai kupusa.
    From there MoreLibido went to the other side of Joza and this Ernest; this guy who used to drink from Aminas again become the father. He bought a truck load of goods.
    And then Libido went to Chiredzi and blamed Diva for the pregnancy and Diva is paying his portion. Vakadiivo vana vaHwarare ikoko nhai Diva?
    After Diva MoreLibido went kunaTawaz uyo weku West, and the guy is not fully employed but anongonzi mwana ndewako ndoda mari, baba vangu nhiya kumaricho.
    By the way don't forget that MoreLibido is a chip off the old block. Manyoni has three different children with different men. Kufana Governor Kkkkk.
    Hoth; P.O. Box Gumtrees
    @gumtrees.com, kkkkkkk
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    Item Reviewed: Umvuma inspector caught pants down at dumpsite Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Staff Reporter
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