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    Thursday, 2 March 2017

    Gun totting magistrate makes a scene with sex worker

    AIWA bodozve ishe wangu! We look up to you for protection. Ko izvi zvomoita ndezvipizve izvi!
    Musadaro muri munhu mukuru mhani imi!
    Every town has its people who call themselves Mr Town kkkk the untouchables, unassailable, unquestionable; the last court of appeal Pwaati!
    So there is this junior Lord; of course criminals call him My Lord. Hoth is not a criminal and so for now he has one Lord and that Lord is in heaven. Neither does Hoth have a landlord; why because he stays uko kuma Gum Tree! Hoth lives under a tree!
    On the day this Junior Lord wore a black tie and blue suit. Inhema here Mr Lord that you were wearing these things on Tuesday night, ehezve and you were in the company of this sex worker who aborted a three-month pregnancy three weeks ago.
    Ehezve, Tindo, this sex worker who stays behind Yeukai Shopping Centre in Masvingo and you were enjoying your drinks from this car, itii pwee and I will say its name and colour. Chete Hoth anokunyarai Mambo!
    Ehezve Tindo of the big shapeless hips; ehezve wemagadziko asina order uyu. Unobikira varume mufuhwira uyu. Ehezve MABIKA zve uyu!
     By the way Mr Junior Lord are you aware that Tindo's abortion happened right there at Yetso Business Centre in front of a crowd? Are you aware that there are three men who laid claim to that pregnancy and you are the Fourth! Chasura!
    And then two young boys started fighting near your car and Your Worship you came out totting your black pistol, your beer in the other hand and your sex worker with her hands around your waist. You pointed the revolver at the crowd and there was pandemonium.
    Ahh please don't do that you are not a fighter, you are not Caussius Clay Jnr. You are not Ali, Please! You are a Magistrate. My Lord!

    College Principal head over heels with office orderly
    Along Harare Lord from Masvingo there is a college! Kkkkkk akadiiko maGreen Bomber? Oh yes you go past this huge school to the right, ehezve 15 km from the Ancient City, you go straight and a stone throw way from the first Toll Gate, that is where life is happening.
    Ngrrrrr ngrrrrr can I talk to the principal I need a place for my daughter to do vocational training. Baba angu Dziva!
    Oh yes, the big man here is head over heels with his office orderly. Ehe maporofita anozviziva!
    Oh yes even the generality of the college's populace know it too; the lecturers, general hands, nurses, accountants and students testified to this illicit affair that is bound to destroy the institution.
    Call this lady Simbisai; oh yes because she is strong in adultery! But she has destroyed the old man's marriage, KUPARADZA chaiko. And the man is a film shooter just like William Shakespeare, baba angu Dziva!
    He shoots many and the best of them is that he does his antics from the comfort of his office. On the sofa! Wegona Chitova! It happens right up to midnight. Why not? His wife teaches faraway in Umvukwes!
    Ehe, kushagasha munhu muoffice kkkk; kuita mushagashi right up to midnight and in an office.
    Simbisai is slim, dark and very ugly. She is nearer the apes than babbons pwaati but Shakespeare doesn't see all that! By the way Shakespeare recently bought her tens of bags of cement to build a mansion at her rural home!
    And last week they were caught red-handed by a junior employee coming from the bar late.
    And visitors Please don't use that sofa in the office! Ummmmm.
    Her kids are going to one of the most expensive boarding schools in the Midlands Diocese.
    Till next time guwa pamberi munhu kumashure, kana usina guhwa usauya kumaGumtree.
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