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    Sunday, 19 February 2017

    Mucheke man pays sex worker with bearer, flees naked

    INDEED getting too big for their boots. Last week it was the Police sergeant that they sent to do laundry. This week a man; poor as a church mouse is sent fleeing naked!
    Masex worker emaMucheke mavakujairira manje!
    There was drama along Muroro Street in Mucheke this week. A poor man who wanted it but did not even have one bond hatched a plan.
    He realised that the new 5 Bond looked exactly like the then $50 000 bearer; I mean literally the same except the figures.
    So he got one at Mundondo and pleaded with her for just 5 Bond until dawn. Ko varume vanonetsa mazuva ano watomboiwana hako! He showed the lady a corner of the note and did he need say more? And they were in bed. The whole night. Usiku hwese baba 5 Bond!
    Hee mabond hatimadi he-e mabond haana value, he-e bond ibepa. The whole night Kkkkkk!
    The poor man had hoped to wake up before dawn and leave the bearer in the  dark but alas he woke up at 7 and the whole place was full of sunshine. He has never been that puzzled and the sex worker already wanted money for bread!
    And when those girls want their money they want it pronto! Kunge mapurisa ari paroad block! Please can I have that money now?
    She held the money up to the sun. Baba angu Jeta! Where are these four zeroes coming from? And these days they work in groups. The man didn't know what happened to him. The next thing he was in the Kopje behind the former Mandava Hotel naked!  Totally naked!
    Ask Municipality workers who saw him riding the wind. He was still hiding in that kopje until late into the morning! Kwaa!
    Vasikana vekwaMucheke musadaro!
    Video with wife's best friend causes pandemonium
    Men are in short supply Kkkkkk! Even at Valentine's, oh yes I mean this 2017 Valentine, women scrambled for the few available on the market.
    It's a dog-eat-dog! Kupika kudai. Varume vanowanikwa newatotanga!
    It's worse at Growth Points! Go to Nemamwa and you will have a bucketful of tales. At this Growth Point best friends are snatching hubbies from each, kupika Narowai kudai!
    There is this street called Makasi and therein was the mother of all fights last week ago when a woman discovered that her hubby was going out with her best friend Amai Tee.
    But you know the hubby mhani! Yes, this one who works for a popular beef company in Masvingo. Kkkkkk ehezve ndiyeye. This man who has two wives, the first one working as a teacher in Hwange and the other one; a permanent home defender staying 4km from the Growth Point.
    Still the two women are not enough! Asi Julius Ceaser? Ehezve Ceaser ichi chinoera shumbazve ichi! Kkkkk chinodya nyama yekuMontana. Pwaati!
    So Ceaser's sister-in-law ehezve muramu one day visited Ceaser's wife's best friend, ehezve shamwari yavakoma. The friend; call her Amai Tee stays along Makasi Street and indeed they gamble even with their hubbies!!
    Imi Mai Tee hamuvazivi here this former wife of the Police officer popularly named Tea Bags Pwaati!
    There they made each other's hair until at some stage Mai Tee went in to get a quick shower. Muhwani room zve umu! Curiosity killed the cat and the sister-in-law found herself toying with Mai Tee's phone!
    The baboons are always there in the mountains!  Baba angu gudo! There were videso, home-made, typical growth point videos! The cat became more curious, Wegona Chitova, the bed was exactly the same as the one she sat on, the curtains were the same, nechihodhurobhu chisina door! Varozvi vakapera nenda.
    And then the characters, Ceaser sweating it out and Mai Tee is an accomplice, Wegona Chitova. How can this be? How can this be? My sister's best friend and her hubby!
    Inonzi Gheto. It's the ghetto. It's dog eat dog! In an hour the wife had landed in Makasi Street, the young sister had pushed the button send on the videos. Pakaita basa! Pakaitwa makakatanwa ipapo, pakaita Makaka! Kkkkkk!
    Let's eat Montana meat together. It's the best!gossip
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