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    Saturday, 21 January 2017

    Enkeldorn councillor flees naked after being caught with married woman

    Kk bamboo mukadzi wemunhu haangaite Christmas Box ka! No!
    Oh yes its true you can't have a legitimately married woman as your Christmas gift. The whole night naye muchiti muri kutamba Christmas. Baba angu Mbweya!
    Even indigenisation laws, as much as they give us a spirit to licence they don't allow us to grab married women. The women might even belong to white men, don't touch them Kkkkkkk! You can grab the land and become a land baron and drive the latest vehicle yes but don't grab a married woman.
    Pamberi nokuhwisisa!
    Now there is this councillor from this party that was meeting in the Ancient City last week. Ehezve there were 7 000 of them muCity yamudhara Hoth Kkkkk!
    He is the most blink blink councillor in the town of Enkeldorn. Ehezve taundi ye Enkeldorn hamuizivi here which has this traditional chief who stole Amai's donated goods. Kuba zvinhu zvamai iwe! Zvinhu zvamai veduwe here! Kkkkk Wegona Chitova!
    Makadiiko Gono, Mukabwi, Gono ren'ombe? Makadii Sekuru?Yes that's his totem. Yes I mean this councillor who drives around in a blue Platzzzzz. By the way mind the spelling of the name of the car. Pwaaati! He loves women and he likes to grab them so you can call him Mubvuti! Nhaka zvangu Chasura!
    He needs a bell in his neck so that women can run away whenever he is in the vicinity. The bell will go sengwe----sengwe---sengwe kkkk! Chasura!
    So this councillor dated a married woman from West Huni Suburb in Enkeldorn. The hubby of the adulterous wife works in Beitbridge. So they have ample time; all the time in the world in fact. Kungobuda mucouncil mumeeting Ku West Huni, kungobva kuWard kumusangano kuWest Huni  and even from church he goes to West Huni.
    So Good Samaritans alerted the man and last week he pretended to be going back to Beitbridge. At 9pm the Alderman was on the door and as usual the door is not locked when he has appointments for his Christmas parties. He just opened the door and the next he was making all sorts of funny noises! From the bedroom of course! Wegona Chitova.
    God is not for one person Yes. Oh yes Mwale, oops sorry Mwari haasi wemunhu one. Ndewedu tose! The man could not stand the sound in the bedroom and he stormed in. Hedzo mbudzi dzopedza mamera kkkkk! Oh yes Mubvuti was all over every holy place your fertile imagination can carry you to! Kuda zvinhu.
    Pakarohwa munhu. Kanzura vakamhanya vakashama! Kkk munosiya sadza hedu! Hoth has a friend called Mware and wishes him the best Christmas ever. Please forgive those who have sinned against you Mr Mware Pwaati!

    Wife catches Mvuma boss in the act
    Mashefu musadaro! Oh yes you might be a boss but it's bad Boss!
    Every province, every district every country has a boss. Mvuma also has a boss, ehezve this one who always snubs the Press. It's true that darkness and light don't mix. The Press is light of course!
    At least now we know why you don't want to see the Press! It's because you are a man of darkness. Mabasa erima kkkkk. Makadiiko madistrict administrator Zimbabwe yose? Kkk makadiko madzishe angu.
    Indeed Hoth sends Xmas greetings to all district administrators.
    So there is this one in Mvuma who drives a Hondo Fit. In case you have not picked him, the Fit is white in colour. Varozvi vakapera nenda. His wife went to look for a form one place for their child in Mutoko and he took advantage to see his small house in Mushayavhudzi High Density Suburb.
    Sashefu he does his illicit deals at night when no-one sees him and the wife came back at 10pm to find him away. Accompanied by her lol sister, she invaded the small house's place to find her better half complimenting another half!  Kana iye unodhambisa mabhiza ungadaro! Pwaati!
    Jambanja pahotera! Makadiiko Vaduma mese? Kkkk Hoth's mother is of the moyo totem by the way! Hell has no fury like a.....woman!
    All glasses to the Fit were smashed. If you think Hoth is a lier go and check in the garage. It's parked there. It's badly damaged!
    Be careful Boss, remember. Hoth knows all your adventures Kkkkk! Maifunga kuti hatizivi? Mukaita basa rokuFadza mvana muMvuma umo Bhasopo Zvokwadi ndinopika naFadzai, Bhasopo! Pwaati.
    Merry Xmas in Mvuma!
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    Item Reviewed: Enkeldorn councillor flees naked after being caught with married woman Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Staff Reporter
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