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    Saturday, 30 July 2016

    Gweru salesman trapping businessmen with his wife

    HOTH'S territory could have increased but don't worry because everyone will be covered. Mese muchakwana. VaMasendeke vati munhu wese one, one! Kkkk.
    Oh yes, when one becomes a salesman, there surely are ethical obligations, codes of conduct blah....blah....blaaa. One cannot just have a free reign and sell anything and everything that comes one's way.
    Kunyanya nyama yemunhu. You cannot sell human flesh, call it human trafficking if you want but ummm trafficking your bed mate? Kwaaa.
    So there is this man in the city of Gweru. Ah ehezve uyu anosevenzera pamahoffice aimbotakura mwadi. Yes that's where his sanctuary is. Kkkkkk SANCTUARY!
    His lifestyle has suddenly enjoyed an upswing. Kukwira chaiko! Tongues are wagging this winter!
    Asi Mr Mahwindi ka! Just recently you were on Footron and now you have a fleet of them. You have an Altezza and just a few weeks ago you got a brand new car, a Volvo. Baba angu Gudo.
    People are asking that since since Mahwindi you are just a salesman in this Zim economy, where have you suddenly found the money? KwaMakandiwa kana kwaMagaya hatina kumbokuonako? What is your miracle Mahwindi?
    Kuti zvingadero MUNYARADZI vekumatenga vakakuona kkkkk, nhaka zvangu nembudzi yasabhuku!
    Hoth being the sniffer he is has the jigsaw puzzle put together. Mahwindi you have this wife of yours who works for this mine, oh yes this mine that digs platinum. Hoth is not sure whether she goes under or she stays on top! Kkkkk. I mean this a, e, i, o, U Mine Kwaaa!
    That's where she is a flower, always attracting bees. Icho chimbama! Semukadzi wa salesman woka, anotonaka.
    Makadiiko ku Unki uko varume, kana nekuMimosa Kwaa!
    Call the woman Hell because she has brought hell to many married women. Chikange chakutorera murume wotombokanganwa!
    So Mahwindi once caught Hell with one of her bosses. Ehezve they were having a nice time paVillage pedu apa. I mean this place where the bed spreads are white sheets! Yes all white, snow white! Wegona Chitova!
    Somebody tipped Mahwindi and murume akawana iri mhere-mhere. Baba Gudo!
    And the settlement was plain; Hona Mahwindi tiri varume tese, iwe wauya pano neshoka, ndochikupa Altezza iyo, makey aya and wochibva wangoti zii!
    And forever keep your peace! Kwaa what else would you want? He took the Altezza. Overwhelmed by joy he almost left Hella behind!
    He has realised that Hell was sitting on a gold mine, oh yes not a platinum mine but gold!
    They agreed and now Hell is in the habit of trapping a number of his bosses and one of the bosses could not imagine facing his subordinates with such a scandal.
    He recently parted with enough money for Mahwindi to buy a Volvo.
    Oh yes Mahwindi you are luck, you now got a Sanctuary not at the Post Office but at the family where you married. Wakakandirwa chitsama.
    Chitsama chemari. Kwaa kuita Mukandatsama kkkkkkk. Makadiiko vaira shoko vana Mukandatsama, mhokore mahomu homu makwira miti!
    Asi Mahwindi! gossip
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