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    Saturday, 7 May 2016

    Catholic priest leaves lawyers in stitches


    – Funerals are solemn occasions, true or false?
    This was false for the church service held for the late prominent Masvingo lawyer, Thomas Makonese.
    The sermon was moving and punctuated with jest, humour, witty and it sent congregants cracking their ribs including more than two dozen lawyers who packed the St Peter and Paul Cathedral in Masvingo.
    Even the usually reserved head of Masvingo Diocese of the Roman Catholic, Bishop Michael Dickson Bhasera could be seen losing it and breaking into tantrums of laughter at the altar as Father Richard Pundo threw in one jest after another as he delivered a flawless sermon.
    He told congregants that the late Makonese turned to the Church on the 11th hour and this was despite his warning for him to do so, years ago at the funeral of his elder brother Francis.
    "But you should not all copy him and seek God at the last minute, because you may not find him. This is risky; you may not even find a priest to pray for you. This last minute trick is one frequently used by lawyers but I want to warn members of the learned profession here that it's not for all of you to try it with God. It is only for clever lawyers like the late Makonese," he said to rapturous laughter.
     He said some would protest and say God is unfair for welcoming and accepting into heaven a man who repented only four weeks before he passed on.
    He said God was a God of mercy and love. God was different from human beings in the way that He operated and Father Pundo gave examples in the Bible where sinners were pardoned immediately after pleading for mercy.
    "Remember the prodigal son. When he returned his father slaughtered the fattest beast and dressed him in the best robes.
    "This is how God operates, he is different. Human beings would demand that one be punished first or his wrongs be repeated to him so that he doesn't do it again before he is pardoned.
    "Kune vamwe muno muchurch vachatoita BP kuti Thomas wazoenderei kudenga iye akangotendeuka mavhiki mana chete asati afa. (There are some who will actually develop high blood pressure, they will be stressed to know that this man is going to heaven after turning to God for just four weeks). Unomurambidza kuenda kudenga uchiti ndiwe ani? (Who are you to stop Thomas from going to heaven?).
    The elder brother to the prodigal son fumed, got angry and refused to join the welcome party because he did not want his brother pardoned so easily for the sins he had committed but that did not stop the party.
    Who was he to stop the party? The celebrations went on whether he liked it or not. Kuda kana kusada kwedu Thomas unotorwa naMwari wake.
    "Dei vana chiremba vaimbobvunza varwere vavo kuti BP kana kuti sugar yavo inokwira zvaita sei vainzwa kuti mumwe musi inokwira kana paita hama inenge yapromotwa pabasa kana kuti panenge pane imwe hama yaita mari. (If doctors were to ask their patients how and when their Blood Pressure went up they will realise that sometimes the BP goes up after news that a relative has been promoted at work or has made money," said Father Pundo amid laughter from mourners.
    He said God did not seek to punish as demonstrated by the thief who was crucified together with Jesus who sought mercy and was pardoned by Jesus and promised to meet the Son of God in paradise that same evening.
    "Wakangonzi naJesu manheru anhasi chaiwo tinenge tava tose muparadiso".
    Father Pundo said there was a reggae musician (Bob Marley) who said you were poor because you only had money and wealth.
    He said this quote was important to Makonese who realised that he had money and wealth but was not rich.
    He said this was why Makonese turned to God before he died.
    Turning to the youth choir at the funeral, he said the youth wouldn't know the quotation because they were not born when it was said.
    He then turned to his boss, Bishop Bhasera and told him that he too wouldn't know the quote from Bob Marley because he was in seminary busy training to become a pastor, once again turning the church into wild laughter.local news

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    Item Reviewed: Catholic priest leaves lawyers in stitches Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Staff Reporter
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