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    Friday, 8 April 2016

    Taxi driver’s cab burnt at small house’s place

    SHONA proverbs are spot-on; there is murombo haarovi chine nguo (unorova chakashama kkkk), chiri pamuchena chiri pamutengure, nhamo haibvi pane imwe....blah .....blah blaa!
    This is what has befallen this taxi driver in Chivhu. You can call him D.P. He is very popular in the small town but is as poor as a church mouse. D.P is quite handsome by Chivhu standards and this is where he gets lost.
    Of course came from his rural home recently and was assisted to get a driver's licence by a sympathetic relative and when he got the licence, he persuaded this affable Chivhu General Hospital nurse to part with her small chipipipi (by the way taxis are called chipipipi here in Chivhumudhara).
    So overnight he became a taxi driver! Baba angu Dziva, vana D.P kutofambavo makadya mahwindo, munhu akabva kawaMutsoto nezuro uno. Kwaaa! And I said he is a bit handsome and he would ferry women for free, more so these vendors!
    "Aiwa amai dzoserai mari yenyu muhomwe tichazogadzirisana hedu pamberi apa!" Wegona Chitova!
    D.P got hooked to this beautiful vendor who sells airtime at Chicken Inn. Call her Abuja. Kane malooks kamuvendor kacho manje and recently some rich bhaga, again by Chivhu standards started lodging her at a servant's quarter in this suburb called Northwood. But money is not love. It is just one dimension of it.
    Love chaiyoiyo ine vakomana vemataxi; vana D.P ava. Oh yes ask any woman she will tell you that taxi drivers are good lovers. They have all the time in the World to love; Kkkkk they take their time! Kwete kungoita zvokumhanya! Love haidi munhu akatarisa watch! Zuva rese Daddy!
    So Abuja got little satisfaction from the rich bhaga and she would accommodate D.P to fulfil this other dimension of love. D.P will go to the servants' quarter after 9pm soon after the rich bhaga has left.
    Asi Abuja usadaro iwe! Unoti ndiro yasukwa nomumwe murume woti haina kuchena inotoda taxi driver kuti ichene. Unosvooreyi zvakadaro iwe?
    Oh yes Abuja wanted the rich bhaga's plate cleaned again by the taxi driver! Yes it's true and the plate was cleaned twice a night. D.P is a good cleaner! He is thorough Kkkkkk.
    The rich Bhaga got wind of the arrangement and he came at 2am last week. He got to the servant's quarter and there was madness inside. Nhaka zvangu Chitova! It was a mad house! You can imagine the taxi driver.
    He knocked and the place fell silent. Silent as death. Kuti mwiroo sebwiro!
    The bhaga realised that there was a chipipipi parked outside and torched it!. It was burnt to ashes. The rich bhaga is on the run.
    D.P came out when he thought the storm was gone. He could not believe it. There was a shell where he left a car! Varozvi vakapera nenda.
    Murombo haarovi chinenguva! What do I say to the owner of chipipipi?
    So Denis went to Abuja with Abigail and that's how the chipipipi got torched. In Abuja they met Phiri! Nhaka zvangu.

      Mai Ananias' car   
      smashes a blindman

    I told you Vachihera that your world is crumbling. The goblins are angry. You thought Hoth is a madman only found at the Gumtrees. Hoth is actually a philosopher if you didn't know. Oh yes he is.
    In March the goblins burnt down your shop at Svikisviki and now the goblins are at it again!
    Zvokwadi munotsika bofu nemota ngozi yacho munoipedza here nhai Chihelele?
    Yes its true Mai Ananias is at it again. One of her cars crashed a blindman at Mucheke Rank last week. A blindman who was just trying to visit the toilets! Hoth hears the man is still in hospital.
    Hoth hears the goblins were fighting for the steering wheel. Chimwe chichiti ndini ndakatenga mota iyi chimwe chichiti hauziwe ndine Kkkkkkk!
    Two council female employees were also smashed by the car!
    Go and confess Vachihera! Reururai VaChihera. Zvinhu zvichakupedzai izvi!
    Yanga iri sei Easter!gossip

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    Item Reviewed: Taxi driver’s cab burnt at small house’s place Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Staff Reporter
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