• Latest News

    Monday, 2 December 2019

    Man gets mentally ill after losing R1m to Rhodesia sex worker


    There is this woman who raises her 5cm long nails for everyone to see each time she stands up to dance in church. Oh yes very long, long red nails. Like a vampire! Ungati chinomwa ropa revanhu! They are artificial of course, what else can they be?
    It’s a big church gathering but still even the priest can see the big panels in her fingers from the pulpit. Ehezve panonzi payi pachurch paye zviye? Ehe ipapo! kuJack City in the Ancient Town. Hoth misses the place mhani. Makadiiko Father Mavedzenge? Ehezve Samaita, vakafa zuva rikanhuwa!
    Call this woman Kira muera moyo. And the surname is something  like bait, kkkk ndakanda changu chirauro! Call her Miss Bait if you want! Oh yes I mean this Kira whose mother works for the Government pension fund Nasha; once in Masvingo and now Mash Central kkkk Chasura! The father resides somewhere there in the big City. Ko ndimizve muriyo Salisbury. Whether the parents are still together or on separation, zvineyi naHoth izvozvo. Kuti ndivo vatanga? Ko imi makarambana kangani?
    Kira stays in the posh suburb of Masvingo kkkk where else? Rhodhesia of course!
    So like mother like daughter, mbudzi kudya mufenje hufanana nani? Ehe nyina. Varozvi vakapera nenda!
    So this Kira is a really money monger. Chinofembedza mari kunge chakatemerwa.
    But usadaroso Kira. How can you empty a man’s whole accident compensation from the Bank? All of it! Murombo haarovi chine nguo chokwadi.
    And there is this young man who became an entrepreneur early in life. Of course waienda nepi the father is a yester-year successful businessman. Wakambokunzwa here kwaihi kwaMadeira kwaMadeira kkkk chati bwege! Ehezve hameno hako. Hoth stops there.
    So this young man call him Hatinashe kwaa! He goes South and gets a fantastic job. Kira smells the money and falls in love with him. Being the money monger she is, Kira visits South Africa every month  end for the usual service and of course to collect the salary.
    Eheka for service! Machines are serviced at different periods depending on quality ka! Kkk iBenz here, Funny cargo here, kaWish here kanotakura vanhu nine and make five trips Harare- Masvingo on a day? Wegona Chitova.
    Wako machine wakamboita seiko nhai Kira unoda weekend yese? Nhaka zvangu. Makadiiko vana Boswell nenhamo kwaGutu uko? Inotambika Shiri, Chasura!
    So these trips down South continued for years until Kira filled her house with the best furniture. This is no ordinary furniture, genuine leather baba. You enter Kira’s bedroom, you have entered Buckingham Palace. Mirrors everywhere; kkkkk asi Hoth; Mirrors on the walls, Mirrors on the ceiling.
    If you sleep in that bedroom kkkkk whichever direction you look you see Kira, pwaati and yourself of course.  Kakati kambama kaKira kacho! You look into the headboard there is Kira, on any of the four walls anongori Kira and in the roof above you there is Kira. Kira, Kira Kira everywhere.
    Kwahi kanovata kari mushwi futi kkkkk! Hapaya!
    Mirrors don’t lie kwaa.
    Ko munoti councillor ndivo vaigodii? She was snatched by a councillor, but there are many councillors and Hoth wouldn’t know which one. Muri sei zvenyu maCity Fathers? Mvura yanetsa!
    The trips to South Africa dried up, they came to an end. Chisingaperi chinoshura, Kkk mwana waBona wakazoenda wani. Hatinashe was slapped with a peace order. Oh yes an order from the court declaring that pano pamba pave pacouncillor. No more going to Rhodesia  otherwise if you go there Hatinashe you are a trespasser!
    The man was stressed! We thank those prayer warriors; mwana waifanirwa kuzvisungirira iyeye!
    But as it is fortune knocks at a man’s door twice, not once. Hatinashe was involved in a major accident a few years back. By the way this is South Africa and not this revolutionary country that you know so he received one million Rands compensation. Oh yes its true one million. All into his account!
    Kira smelt the rat and before one could say South Africa she was in the Rainbow country. The two lovebirds were back together. The monthly service periods were reduced to every weekend kkkk. Asi Kira. Saka vhiki ino chiriko, next week chiriko and the next chiri paservice again. Wegona chitova!
    In no time she was driving a brand new car. The keys that you see her dangling during Rujeko Sunday service are precisely from the money of an accident. Blood money Kira, oh shame.
    She auctioned all the mirrors, bed and the bedroom is fresh again with new furniture. Asi ukabvunzwa kuti unosevenza kupi unoti kupi nhai Kira? Chegotsi Private Limited? Baba angu diro.
    Meanwhile Hatinashe’s R1million bank account is now empty. What goes around comes around in a way. Kira has banished Hatinashe again.
    But not after emptying R1 million from the accident compensation account. Hatinashe has lost his marbles. He has no cent, he is poor as a church mouse and has become a regular inmate at Ngomahuru. Oh yes dziri kutoucher!
    By the way he has been trying a furniture shop!
    I saw him recently and iye nemuromo wake said, ‘’Hoth ndiri kugwara. Pamunondishaya paya ndinenge ndiri Ngomahuru”. Musaseka vana Jerifanos, hazvisetsi izvi.
    Ehe ndizvo zvinoita vanaKira muchiona vachisumudza mazinzara muchurch kudai. Iroga mushonga wemakozho, munopera! Vanokusiyayi mave kuNgomahuru hedu.
    And by the way she raises her vampire nails more when the Catholics sing Mwari Ngaarumbidzwe.  She loves the song eish! Nga-a-rumbidzwe Mwaaari, pa-si pan-o vagarike vaakanzwira tsitsi. Maiwe zvangu.
    And from there she goes to receive the bread of life from the Priest. Kuitavo here ikoko? Confession, confession, Kira!
    Mai vaHatinashe vatambura newe!
    And Kira now goes around lying that mota yakatengwa nacouncillor. Nhema dzako Kira, councillor vakaita degree re economics, he doesn’t throw money around. All he buys you are pants, kkk simbi dzebasa, nice ones of course kkkk Chasura, grocery and occasionally pays rent!
    But zvokuti nice pants Hoth akangonzwavo ummmmm zvokuti akaona nemeso ake ndinganyepa!
    Asi Kira ka Mwari ave newe!
    #MasvingoMirror#
    • Comment on The Mirror
    • Facebook Comments

    0 comments:

    Post a Comment

    Item Reviewed: Man gets mentally ill after losing R1m to Rhodesia sex worker Rating: 5 Reviewed By: http://www.masvingomirror.com/
    Scroll to Top