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    Monday, 20 May 2019

    Gory Temple Pastor’s girlfriend marries in SA

    Nedzoi!
    Oh yes Hoth’s sympathies. Hoth’s very very personal commiserates to Pastor Hlangi! Makatorerwazve! Zvinowanikwa mufunge munhu waMwari! Hamusi mega kkkk!
    By the way Peshi is gone, akawarura.
    Kkkk it’s not a rumour, Peshi the teen girlfriend who turned Pastor Hlangi of the Gory Temple Church of Masvingo  upside down is gone. Oh yes Machuma that girl who destroyed Gory Temple has started a new life in South Africa. Machuma was snatched by another Pastor who heads his own church across the Limpopo.
    Peshi is gone so soon after Hlangi paid US$13 000 damages to the father. Church dzinosiyana masimba idzi kkkkkkk! Yes churches differ in the power. Peshi akaenda neLafarge kwaaa!
    Damages but what damages? Hoth knows Hlangi as a peace loving man who will not even kill a fly, ko saka what did he damage?
    So it all happened on Easter Monday. April 21, 2019 to be precise. This South African pastor came and paid Jerifanos R30 000 cash for lobola. Of course these are tithes. Jerifanos wobaiwa nekudya chegumi vakomana! Yes it happened kumba kwake Jerifanos kuMucheke D uko. So you think it’s a lie, it isn’t, vese vana tete nanamai vakatononga.
    Peshi waJerifanos waenda vasikana pururudzai varume vedu vapona! Kwaaa.
    If Peshi could shake a whole church to its roots what more kamuchato zvako? And she is beautiful. Your marriages were staring Cyclone Idai in the eye. Chasura!
    Peshi’s new hubby is a Zimbabwean. Oh yes his father is a retired engineer who stays medu mu Rhodhene umu. Kkk, Gono moyo makadiyi, sinyoro moyo makadii, dhewa moyo makadi, kwaaa moyo Sithole muriko here kuna Flame Tree uko? Call this father-in-law Zvitore.
    Flame Tree is a street in Rhodhene that is where Peshi’s father-in-law Zvitore stays.
    By the way Hoth got it from inside sources that Peshi and Pastor Zvitore met on social media in February. Three months down the line Pastor Zvitore was in Mucheke D paying the bride price.
    Pastor Zvitore’s mother who knows Peshi’s habits in and out is heartbroken. Do you know Hanna in the Bible? She cries day in day out. Pastor Zvitore tells his mother that he got the woman in a dream from God, baba angu diro!
    After the lobola, Peshi and Pastor were locked in their bedroom in Rhodhene from Monday to Saturday. Peshi could not even slaughter a hen. She survived on pizza. Mbuya Zvitore was pissed off. Nyaya yokuroora magarinya iyi vasikana!
    On the Sunday Pastor Zvitore returned to his base in South Africa with a new wife. By the way did you have your passport on you when you left Peshi? Bodozve kungobvunzavo!
    How are you father-in-law? How are you Jerifanos? Mukoma maita mari mutown, makazvizvarira chifeve chenyu zvenyu. Nhasi chogaya mari kunge chakabva nokwaNdunge.
    Isu takamunonokera Ndunge uyu. Jerifanos wagara tatata. Mwana wobvutidzanwa nemafata kkkkk!
    And to you all girls at the church kkkkk hezvo zvifebe zvopera kuroorwa makangoti vavava! Hee hee we are holy, hee hee we have discipline, hee we belong to the guild kkkkk. But all the same Hoth implores you; vasikana musaenda kwaNdunge munofa muchirara nenyoka.
    Once again my sympathies to you Hlangi, don’t cry my brother because when one door is shut another one opens. Inga you always preach about that in church. In any case there are hundreds of girls there dying to say I receive papa!
    Ehezve uchavhurirwa rimwe door kkkkk!
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