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    Tuesday, 31 October 2017

    Nurse disappears with colleague’s wife at couples’ outing


    Don't ever get bitter with Hoth. If you do, you get yourself a lifetime wound, hazvipori! Itoti zvako hlo!
    Oh yes, Hoth is there to shine and shine and shine kkkkkkk, imi muchingohukura, muchingohukura, muchingohukura. Chasura!
    Hoth unofara semugwagwa webhazi kkk.
    Knock, knock, knock…..Engledoorn Hoth is back! He-e Hoth akadzokera Fort Vic, he-e Hoth uri Shabani, he-e, he-e what?
    Please guys at Enkeldoorn don't act foreign because you have bought a car!Kungotenga mota munhu wotochinja step, you change the way you talk and even the way you greet people.
    Baba angu Diro.
     Don't practise what you see in Nigerian films; that is why they are called films! Ifirumi mwana wamudhara! Moda kutiitira chirungu paChivhumudhara here ipo paya panoswera madhongi achikuma ari paChicken Inn?
    Pakasiyana chii nepaNeshuro kuMwenezi! Tibvirei apa!
    Kutochinja kamuitiro because nurse wepa District Hospital watenga Subaru; pwaaati. And you think because you have bought a Subaru, now you gather friends  around and organise what you call couples' outing! Baba angu Diro! Ko isu tisina michato todii?
    Oh yes, so there is this Cassanova who works at the District Hospital who bought a Subaru. Kkkk by the way how much  did you get it for? Oh yes, hamumuzivi here wekumhanyisana netusikana twechikoro, ehezve uyu unoera Zimutozve uyu!  Yes, this guy who loves bling, ehezve vemaring ema $ million! The wife works in Chiredzi.
    Ehe ndiyeye zve!
    Makadiiko Chikandamina, Zimuto, Ngara, oh yes Maposa? Nhaka zvangu!
    Call him Pace, because he has remarkable pace when it comes to people of the fairer sex.
    And there is this class of people who are middle class but because this is Chivhumudhara they act upper class. The Bourgeoisie, ehezve vana  Bhosiwere!
    Pwaati, vana teacher nana nurse vakazomboita upper class kupi kwaa! Nyangwe mukatambira bonus mwedzi mumwe nemumwe ndokubva maita Upper Class imi? Chasura!
    So there is this Chivhu Upper Class comprising nurses, netumaticha twemadegree adai kuzara nyika yose iyi who gather every weekend in twos' and call themselves couples. They choose the most open place where everyone can see them and park their cheap Subarus, Vitz, Noah, Fun Cargo, Honda Fit, Demio, kkkkk, Cefiro etc. It is indeed a show of the World's cheapest cars. The place is Filljoy Lodge kwaa!!
    They buy the poorest grade of meat, in England they call it Economy and they start roasting while drinking and merry-making. They call this a couples' outing and they torment their teeth with this meat until the wee hours of the next day.
    This Saturday, they did so to baptise Pace's new car! They  were about six so-called couples including this Queen of African beauty who is a nurse and is married to this not so street-wise man who is also nurse at the same hospital.
    I mean zve uyu ane structure inenege yaZodwa. Ehezve Chihera uyu. Aikaka ko makadiiko zvenyu mainini Julu? Chiramu chaHoth pwaa! So while at the outing, there is this guy who is also a nurse at the hospital and his business throughout the night was to ensure that Zodwa's hubby gets drunk.  This sexually attracted guy is also a Mhofu and therefore in our culture, he and Zodwa are brother and sister! Vana Mhofu kuda zvinhu! That is what Hoth call incest!
    Call this guy Talkmore. So Talkmore would buy Zodwa's hubby loads of beer while he took sipps, kuita kunanzva hake doro. Call Zodwa's hubby Ambush because he was being ambushed. Kuita kuredzwa chaiko, kusenengedzwa nevakangwara ummmm Senengedzai Kwaaa!
    Talkmore's eyes talked to Zodwa throughout the night. When everybody lost their marbles, ehezve they were intoxicated the two nurses disappeared for a surgery of a kind. Wegona Chitova. They were gone, gone out of sight. A Good Samaritan who must also have been eyeing Zodwa alerted Ambush kuti goods dzaenda. He even told him of the venue of the game! Kkkkkk
    Vakawana verse iri muna Isaya kkkk! Yes it was happening right inside Talkmore's matrimonial bed. What an icing to a couple's outing lake!
    Hoth haana mwana anoenda kuChivhumudhara!
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