WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE CHEATED IN A MARRIAGE
Marriage /love relationship is not as soft as margarine. There are a lot of stressful and painful situations that one cannot avoid. One of most problematic situation in our contemporary Zimbabwean society is CHEATING. It is disheartening if your spouse cheats on you especially when you are faithful in marriage/love relationship. However it is important to consider the following pieces of advice.
1 FORGIVE YOUR PARTNER
After being cheated it is important to forgive your spouse. Forgiveness is very important for the health of the family especially your children. If you fail to forgive your partner you will not move forward .Time and again you will be in conflicts. Conflicts hinder progress in your life.
If you are forgiven please show a sense of remorse. After forgiveness start your love life on a fresh page. Failure to show a sense of remorse by the cheating partner will destroy the trust that your partner has towards you. After you have forgiven your cheating spouse allow yourself time to heal from inside, forget the past and be future focused.
2 OPEN DISCUSSIONS
After you have forgiven your cheating spouse he/she must tell you his/her motive behind cheating. It is advisable for the cheating partner to initiate the discussions although it is a very challenging task. Try to work out your difference through open discussions. Remember it is the two of you who bring happiness in your life lives.
Sometimes lack of communication may be the chief cause behind cheating .For example the husband may cheat his spouse because his wife may be failing to satisfy him sexually or she is not kind in her speeches. On the other hand the wife may decide to cheat because the husband may be failing to support her financially. Cheating is painful, but when it happens engage in open discussion to mend the relationship. It is important to consider and implement the resolutions of your discussions.
3 AVOID VIOLENCE
When one is cheated he/she may be violent. The husband may decide to kill both the spouse and her love partner, on the other hand the wife may decide to injure the husband or love partner. Violence is not a solution. It makes the situation worse. You may end up being in prison. It becomes a double tragedy in your life. Consider what will happen to your children if you go to jail. What about your job? Remember if you go to prison your spouse and his/her cheater may continue to enjoy love life full time in your absence.
4 BE YOURSELF
After a cheating incident relatives from both sides normally want to interfere into your relationship. Others will be calling each of you to terminate the relationship. Although it is not a bad idea to listen to advice, it is important that you remain calm and composed.
In making a decision consider whether to continue or to terminate the relationship .Do not make decisions when you are emotional. When considering to divorce or not the welfare of your children should always come first. Is your decision not likely to affect them socially, emotionally and economically?
5 SEEK ADVICE
Seek professional counselling before making a final decision from people like lawyers and pastors.
Consider and carefully weigh your options ask God for guidance if you are a believer.
By CALISTO CHIMOYI
CALISTO CHIMOYI IS A MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER AND PREACHER.
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