Kkkkkkkkkk!!! Amai mukaenda kuMoria munonobatwa nemujenya imi!
Yes am saying so because everyone is going to Moria this Easter weekend. Prophets are all out prophesying. Hee this woman is sleeping with this man, hee this man was with his brother's wife. Is this the only sin in the Bible? Get away mhani you demons!
So there is this woman. Naturally she will never go to Moria. She comes from this sweetly, sweetly town. Town inorimwa sugar Kkkkkk wegona Chitova. The woman is a boss there, ndichamakuvangu paChiredzi apa Kwaaaa!
I mean she is an Administrator in the District (AID)!
How are you DA in this city and indeed his or her assistant? Wegona Chitova!
In case you have lost your Memory this woman is called Dyiwaiwo! Dyiwaiwo is so proud of her gifts they are paraded for everyone to see. Kkkkk to taste. Baba angu Gudo.
She has commercialised them too and now she lives from this God-given gift. For anything that Dyiwaiwo wants she pays with the gifts. If she wants to hire a taxi she will tell the taxi driver at the end of the trip that Idyawo! Oh yes take a bite. At that rate who hasn't?
Recently there was a young man who went to collect her car from Tanzania and she was supposed to pay $350 for the service. The young man was told to take a bite. Idyawo! Indeed he took a bite kkkk; one bite for US$350. Chasura!
Statistics show that 70 percent of her male colleagues have taken bites, some once, some 10 times depending on how they found the taste. Inhema here nhai madhara angu? How are you all DAs' throughout Masvingo? I mean all of you including those who just retired! Pwaati!
A prison head recently took a bite after providing Dyiwaiwo with prisoners to work on her farm. The jail birds toiled for three weeks just for the Chef's one bite. Yes just one bite. Akadyawo! Ehe wakangodya kamwe vasungwa vakangosevenza madhongi achikuma. He cuddled around her; kuita mukomba munhu or choto kkkkkk! Nhaka zvangu!
Recently a CEO, a whole CEO pulled out a gun over Dyiwaiwo. PROMISE you don't spill the beans, oh yes Hoth hasn't spilled the beans.
By the way this fight at Labamba! Makadiiko veduwe mese mese kkkk. Mhlanga is a nice Shangani name! Kkkk no fights at Labamba Night Club please!
By the way Dyiwaiwo has no bounds, she has been through all of them, Police bosses, senior court officials, councillors, army captains, Gov heads of departments blab la blah!
And there is this deputy director from this Ministry and he comes from this district. Oh yes from Chovhanhai District! Ndiye ari kugara ari mumuchero womusango mazuva ano! Kutokwira hake!! Oh yes he is always up the wild fruit tree. Muchazvambuka baba!
Call this director Little Mouth! Little Mouth has promised to promote Dyiwaiwo in return for the bites. Little Mouth is one of those who has had more than ten bites and continue to want more kkkkkkk! Muchero womusango!
Hoth cannot go for Easter without sending his prayers to the following; Captain Gomo ( I mean this one who pretends to be a unionist) This senior officer called The Big Hoe (oh yes from Manicaland); This other senior Cop now transferred called Blood Spiller, oh yes Nyamaneropa; this undependable councillor called UsaThemba, this chief at the Potholes industry called Big Horns etc etc.
Guys share this wild fruit tree fairly! Don't fight, don't pull out guns on each other. Unonzi Muchero Wemusango!
Best regards for Easter guys. Take your bites! Pwaati!!!