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    Monday, 17 April 2017

    What makes a strong marriage

    By Calisto Chimoyi

    Marriage is a God given lifetime relationship. It involves commitments in meeting your partner's emotional needs through caring and good and effective communication.

    Marriage becomes stronger when the physical and emotional needs are met unconditionally. Failure to meet these needs will result in marriage problems such as rejection and conflicts.

    For marriage to be stronger love partners should put their spouses' needs first not theirs. Trust is the most important ingredient in marriage. In this this period of economic hardship couples need to trust each other when it comes to monetary issues .Never buy anything even as small as a phone charger without your spouse's knowledge because cheating starts with small things. Never send money to your relative even airtime without the knowledge of your better half (spouse). Never hide your payslips. Never borrow money from money lenders before sitting down. In the event that you borrow the money it must be used for its intended purpose never divert plans without your spouse's approval or knowledge. Never force him/her to approve your decisions. All decisions must be done willingly and unconditionally. 

    If you get married cut contacts with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Keeping in contact with them is a time bomb to your marriage. Never put passwords on your computers and phones which are not know by your spouse. Doing so will create suspicions in your spouse's mind .When going out tell your spouse the truth if things change on the way notify him/her in time. If he/she discovered that you are in a different locality from the one you would have told him/her this may result in squabbles which can shake your marriage.

    Minimise the time you spent on your phone if you are at home with your spouse. Putting too much concentration on your cellphone is a bad habit it appears as if you are not caring or you are trying to cover up something on your cellphone. Please never chat on Whatsapp at odd hours unless you are chatting with your spouse, if your spouse check on his/her Whatspp and see that you are online say at 11pm he/she will think that you are cheating on him/her.

    Openly discuss your sex life. It's bad for your spouse to fantasise about someone when having sex with you. Be open to your spouse what you like best in your sexual life as married people. Make sure you satisfy your spouse sexually. It's good to have sex even if you are in conflicts or disagreements on something. Sex is therapeutic other squabbles get solved through sex.

    Never go to different denominations, agree on a single denomination. Going to different denominations will result in a conflict of Church doctrines which may result in conflicts which will weaken your marriage. When in conflict never rush to call a helper try to work out your difference alone because other issues in marriage demand the attention of the two of you only. Never expose your spouse's weaknesses to your friends or relatives it is your duty to complement those weaknesses. Never pass an intimacy comment on someone's wife/husband it makes your spouse to suspect something rather reserve them to yourself. 

    Nkulumani Mlambo (0772 118 533/0715 505353)
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